AEW Dynamite results: Jade hits 50-0, Joe claims gold again in wild main event (2023)

This is certainly a pro-Moxley crowd just an hour from his hometown, and he seems to want to channel that feeling into beating up Hangman before the cowboy even gets to the ring. That works out well as they battle up into the crowd a good way, with Mox even locking on a Figure Four at one point.

(Obligatory “you can’t win the match out there” bits from the announcers.)

Page manages to slow Moxley with a thrown chair as the ref tries desperately to get things in the ring so the match can officially start. Instead, Hangman suplexes Mox on a chair on the floor.

Finally both men are in the ring so the bell can sound. Moxley ends up bleeding pretty decently into his right eye, which can’t be fun. Page hits a fallaway slam and hears some boos, which turn to cheers when Moxley catches him coming in.

Out on the apron, Moxley locks in a reverse choke, and Page manages to get himself free right as picture-in-picture arrives.

Page yells at Moxley to “stay down” as he slams him with kicks, but the double bird and a cutter is the response. Hangman fires off a backdrop suplex, which Mox mostly no-sells before he unleashes a suplex of his own.

Moxley lays in a clothesline in the corner and climbs up to deliver a front chancery superplex, which is good for a two count. After a few hammer and anvil elbows, Moxley grabs the bulldog choke but can’t quite get it fully locked in. He turns to stomps and rolls into the juji gatame. Page gets to the ropes and breaks the hold.

With Mox charging in, Page lifts him up and over the top rope to the floor. He lines up his top rope moonsault but Moxley sees it coming, and he connects on a clothesline right after that. Mox heads to the timekeeper’s table and clears it off, and both men start rocking each other with lariats before Page pulls off a popup powerbomb of sorts to drive Moxley through the table.

After barely beating the ref’s 10 count, Moxley rushes back into the squared circle and right into a DeadEye. Mox not only kicks out at two but manages to strike with a King Kong Lariat, motioning Hangman to get up.

Another exchange leads to Page hitting a small package driver and holding on to cover, but it’s still not enough. An exchange of counters leads to a piledriver, and Page follows with a Buckshot … except Moxley kicks out again.

Despite all this hard-hitting action, it’s a more technical move that wins it, as Moxley rolls up Hangman and holds on for the three. After the bell, Claudio Castagnoli and Wheeler Yuta arrive to check on Mox, who is still going back and forth jawing with and shoving Page Hangman finally heads out.

The jobbers try their own version of scissoring but quickly get pinned after an Arrival and a Mic Drop. Alas, that’s only the warmup for a confrontation with The Gunns. Austin and Colten say they want a shot at the belts and they want an answer right now.

Since The Acclaimed are the people’s choice and the people’s voice, the champs ask the fans if the Ass Boys deserve a title shot. The people have spoken, and the answer is no.

As the two duos start bickering, Billy Gunn says he’s had enough, and he walks out of the ring. The Gunns accuse him of walking away just like he did when they were kids, then tell him to drown his sorrows “at the bottom of a pill bottle.” That brings him back to the ring, and it seems the nerve his sons have struck worked, because he says they have their title shot next week.

Takeshita is looking good until Cage picks him off the apron and slams his spine into the ringpost. That can’t feel good.

A low dropkick back in the ring gets Cage a two count, and The Machine is in full control heading into an ad break. But Takeshita has turned it around by the time it’s over, connecting on a shotgun dropkick to even things up.

A Takeshita lariat hits as well, as does a wicked German suplex. He tries a jumping knee but gets thrown back into the turnbuckles. A couple of counters end with a Takeshita Liger Bomb, and he covers for a near fall.

A rolling forearm shot is answered by a backdrop driver and discus lariat by Cage, but it’s only good for a two count. Cage no sells a brainbuster, but not a second one, as he has to kick out again at two.

What does Takeshita have left? An avalanche brainbuster, for one, and a jumping knee is next to wrap this up.

The announcers tell viewers a bit more about Thatcher, who looks for the fujiwara armbar almost immediately. Danielson’s left shoulder is heavily taped after the abuse it suffered last week.

Thatcher has no qualms about targeting said shoulder, and he does some small joint manipulation to boot. Danielson fires back with strikes before taking things to the mat for his own submission stylings.

A bow and arrow stretch is applied, but Thatcher escapes by torturing Danielson’s fingers. The American Dragon launches a jumping corner kick, but Thatcher drives him into the canvas and goes to work on his left shoulder again.

Danielson gets his left leg to the ropes to force a break, but he’s up against it during picture-in-picture action. When we’re back full screen, Danielson is finally able to get himself a breather with a top rope dropkick that stuns Thatcher.

They slug way in the middle of the ring, with Danielson eventually chopping his foe down to the mat … though he’s able to block the Yes Kicks. Danielson pulls off a backslide for a near fall, then slams home a head kick for another two count.

As they grapple, Thatcher backs Danielson into the ref, who is down after getting sandwiched into the turnbuckle. That brings out MJF, who slips on his Dynamite Diamond Ring, but Takeshita flies out of the crowd to prevent an attack.

Meanwhile, Danielson is caught in the fujiwara armbar and yelling in agony as the ref revives. He barely manages to get his right leg to the bottom rope, so the match continues.

A belly-to-belly suplex has Thatcher looking for the kill, but the Busaiku Knee wipes him out, and Danielson covers to get the three count.

Taz explains to newcomers that despite the huge size difference, Velvet is going to be coming in hot here. She’s certainly firing out the block here, hitting a swinging kick through the ropes and taking it to Jade on the floor.

A rollthrough cover gets Velvet a two count, but Cargill slams her backward with a nasty suplex and a near fall of her own. The champ is doing well enough after ads that she’s in the middle of the ring doing pushups, but Velevt connects with double knees and lays in some kicks.

Alas, Red runs right into Jade’s vicious pump kick and barely manages to kick out at two. Kiera Hogan, the other former Baddie, takes out Leila Grey on the outside. Velvet hits a spinning kick, and Cargill is down for more than three, but the ref takes a while to return to the action and only counts to two.

Velvet locks in a submission hold, but Cargill powers her way to her feet. Velvet tries a sunset flip, but Jade just pulls her up for Jaded to hit 50-0.

Allin is wearing a hoodie studded with thumbtacks, but he only gets to use it once before Joe gets rid of it. Cool idea, though.

Joe reaches under the ring for a table but gets hit by a flying Allin, who launches himself right into said table. Darby slides the steps into the corner, but the fight ends up going up the stairs into the crowd, where Allin gets dumped over a railing.

During side-by-side commercials, the challenger gets things back to the ring, where he’s in control even though he’s busted open. Joe is still beating the heck out of Darby afterward, now cranking his neck from behind.

Allin backs Joe into the corner to escape and slaps his foe several times. He tries a corner charge but Joe simply slams him down with one arm, covering for a two count.

For the second time in the match, Joe gets a table and this time leans it across the barricade. Joe tries for a sleeper but gets it countered by a jawbreaker. Allin goes back to slaps and chops until Joe just chucks him out to the floor.

Grabbing several chairs, Joe sets two of them up in the ring back to back. He drops Darby’s back on the tops of them, which honestly isn’t even the most painful thing we’ve seen in this match.

Allin rallies quickly for a Code Red, then throws some powder in Joe’s eyes and hits a stunner. He gets his thumbtack hoodie and puts it back on, and he’s thinking Coffin Drop … and does it. But Joe kicks out at two.

Heading out to the floor, Darby starts cutting off the canvas from the ring. He pulls out the padding as well, taking the ring down to the wood. Allin launches himself to the floor, but Joe moves away and the champ goes through the table.

Heading back into the ring, Joe smashes the thumbtack hoodie into Darby’s face, but Allin has tacks on his thumbs and grinds them into Joe’s eyes in return. He delivers several chair shots, but Joe is able to crotch him.

Joe lifts up Allin and gives him an Avalanche Muscle Buster on the exposed boards, and a wild, violent bout is now over. But if Joe thought he would have any time to celebrate or even recover, he doesn’t get it, as a returning Wardlow heads down to attack him.

Wardlow wants the Powerbomb Symphony on the wood, but Joe escapes as an enraged Wardlow fights off security.